Desire Re-directed

In much of the yoga philosophy there is the goal to rid ourselves of desires. Desire has been outcasted, yet we are unable to actually cast it out, resulting in feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy. So what if we decided to make our desires conscious versus compulsive. 

Step number one is to get clear about what it is that we truly desire.

When I look within, when I remove all the lofty goals, life purposes, bullshit beliefs, and supposed to’s, I find my desire to be very simple. I want to be happy. I want to feel at peace. I have heard myself claim that my purpose is to evolve my consciousness and while this seems to be truth at face value, it is still a belief posing as the truth because I have been sold, from the spiritual world, that this is what a “real” yogi would aspire to. When in truth, I really just want to be happy, as me, not for you, not for evolution, not for my Instagram or for the moon or for my ancestors. I want to wake up and exist with myself, as myself, in peace with my body, with my mind, and with my emotions. If I can be honest about this, then I can debunk all of the dysfunctional desires that have resulted in behaviors and habits that are not in service to my happy. I can remove all of the icky sticky that has been gunked upon even having a desire in the first place. 

What if we all sincerely devoted ourselves to our own happiness? The confusion lies in what we have deemed makes us happy like the career, the money, the fame, the sex, the relationship, or the size of the diamond on our finger. As long as we continue to place our happiness in the hands of other people, places, religions, and things, that is exactly where it will remain, in their hands.

The place where I feel the happy is never outside of me. The place I feel it, is always within me, because that is always where I am. Yet we spend most of our lives trying to organize and control what is on the outside versus understanding what is going on within, which makes us ok then, with whatever comes about. When our emotions are screaming like a five year old, then that is where we start. If the thoughts are like a runaway train, then we must sit our ass down in the drivers seat and pull the brakes. 

Let us free our desires from the chains of dirty and place them onto the thrown of the divine.

Dearest Reader,

If all I know, is that I don’t know, well then that there is growth. Every time I re-assess myself and my why’s I am humbled to my knees. This yoga philosophy Is here, not to demand adherence, but to compel us to keep asking, to keep wondering, to keep committing ourselves to understanding ourselves. Let us not get wrapped up in defending or directing, but more so in divine-ing.

I love you,

Andrea Dawn